Maureen, Mrs. Quirk, is finally getting some help. And yes I finally remembered her name. The police department has been setting up a timeline of events and they're recruiting witnesses of the incident to come back to the school and relive some of their trauma. Bad idea, I know. Mo (Maureen) is traumatized even by the thought of that, and luckily enough for Mr. Quirk (whatever his first name is) Mo is shocked enough to give into his persistent recommendations of seeing a therapist. So she goes and she sees the therapist and basically the therapist contradicts everything that Mr. Quirk has done and says.
When I picked this book I really wanted to read about Columbine. I wanted more juicy details about the actual event not about a fictional couple pretending to deal with the aftermath. Maybe I'm a little sick in the head but I wanted to see the scene inside the school, the real terror and emotion then. So far, that's one chapter's plot. Otherwise it's Mr. Quirk and Mo fighting, whining, or apologizing. I'll get through it but not without some mind-dragging.
You see I have some problems when it comes to reading. I kind of have reading A.D.D. which I think can just be explained as regular A.D.D.. I read about a good book in one of my magazines, I go to Barnes & Noble, buy it and then get home and realize I have mounds of other books I've already started reading. I think I'm going through the A.D.D. stage with The Hour I First Believed. With no real dramatic plot twists or heart-wrenching details, I get bored. I'm afraid to announce that I've become bored.
I'm bored with the story, I'm bored with the characters and I'm bored with the author. Not to mention that the book is fat. Yes it's got big font size, but still it's fat.

The Hour I First Believed Blog
number two


When you've been running your heart out for a while you get into a trance. You start to forget your running and you just start to think. You forget you're working so hard to just keep moving because all you can seem to focus on are your thoughts. The breaths you take are the only sounds you can hear. The inner monologue starts to take control, you're in cruise control. Then you come around the corner and you're done. It's over. Stop running. It's ok.

Reading excepts from Dylan and Eric's journals is like running your heart out. In the book there's an entire chapter dedicated to their journal entries leading up to the shooting. Lamb quoted some of what they said on their confession tapes too. It's their voice. It's not fiction, it's them speaking. I fell into a trance when I read them. It was like I forgot that I was reading, but I was watching them write, their plans unfolding. I watched them vent into their journals about the jerks at school who teased them that day, the ultimate reason for their attack. The most horrific thing was that I understood them. I understood that being rejected and being teased sucks. I understood their anger and that's what caught me off guard. That's when I stopped running in my mind. When I reached the end of the chapter I came out of my trance, realized that it was about one in the morning and that I had school the next day. When I went to bed I was thinking about Dylan and Eric, I understood that they were angry, but I couldn't imagine ever coming into school and shooting everybody and anybody I saw. I'm not like them. I'm nothing like either of them and even trying to comprehend their motives was unthinkable.

But still. These two guys were months away from graduating high school. They had plans after high school, they were thinking of college and the military. Then they rejected those thoughts and went out, bought guns and well...did it. Maybe with some therapy or attention or someone to talk to or care about could've prevented this. Maybe if someone had paid some attention it wouldn't have turned out the way it did. But I guess we'll never know.

The Hour I First Believed Blog
number one


The minute I had read the review for The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb, I wanted it. Ever since watching Bowling For Columbine I've kind of had a secret interest in the Columbine High School shootings. In Bowling For Columbine you see raw footage, video from security cameras documenting the terror that these two boys brought in with them that day. These images are stuck in my mind. You see the two boys coming into the cafeteria with two guns in each hand. You see the unarmed students dashing for cover, leaving their backpacks and lunches behind. It's basically a slide by slide video but it gets the point across. The terror is real, this can happen. I'm not a big cryer, but I cried when I saw that. I couldn't even imagine any kind of catastrophic event at school, let alone a shooting. I can't seem to comprehend the idea of someone my own age or someone in one of my classes possessing the drive to kill. It's impossible. It's unthinkable.

The book chronicles the life of Mr. Quirk and Mrs. Quirk who both worked at Columbine High School. Mr. Quirk was a social studies teacher and Mrs. Quirk was a school nurse. Right before the shooting Mr. Quirk's aunt passes away and he has to go back to Connecticut or wherever he grew up. The next thing he knows he's switching the TV on and there's footage of kids screaming and running out of Columbine High School. His wife is still there, he doesn't know if she's dead or alive.

The book follows his life dealing with his mentally damaged wife after the shooting. She suffers from PTSD and becomes completely emotionally stale. You get a taste for their scandalous life before moving to Colorado early on in the book which makes their awkward, strained relationship even more awkward and strained. It's a bit heartbreaking, it's hard to decide who to feel sorry for. Mr. Quirk who's dealing with an emotionally unstable and unfaithful wife, or Mrs. Quirk who has to suffer from the memories of the Columbine shooting everyday? The answer is never obvious and I still have some digging to do.